As someone who grew up in a world as competitive and challenging as ballet I developed some skills pretty early on in life that help you overcome that mental block that can be so intimidating. This skill has transferred well into other situations in life like learning to run, meeting fitness goals, meeting difficult savings goals and getting through the day during a pregnancy after a delivery than ended in the NICU.
The skill I have found most affective for me is the mile marker. When I was dancing I always pushed to hold a position for one more count than the class before, when I was running it was one more telephone pole than the run before, and more often than not having several mile markers places close together I saw more success than failure and that made it earlier to try a little harder next time. When it comes to pregnancy, as I learner so clearly last time you don’t have any control of when baby comes and when you have had experiences like we had you really want to grasp onto any bit of control or power you can over when baby arrives.
How I have used this skill to help move along the pregnancy is first by educating myself and learning at what point do things change baby enough to survive.
The first mile marker I set was at 25 weeks. I knew that at that point our chances of survival was 70%, its not great, but I could take a breath and know that we made it that far. My next marker was 27 weeks; only because for some reason I will never understand an unbelievable amount of women I know in the last few years have had babies that have survived and thrived when born during this week. Having just crossed that threshold I can now set my sights on my final mile marker week 34+2, when Monkey was born.
I am hoping that when I reach week 34+3 that I will be able to have a huge sigh of relief as at that point I know what will happen if baby comes. It will be a shorter stay in NICU than when Monkey was there, or maybe if we are lucky a discharge home. At this point all I can hope for is one more day than before and take each one as it comes.